Version 1: Sevilla Awakened [01/12-05/13]

-Yael Naim, “Far Far” 

Everybody processes life differently. Sometimes some of us can take the glob of stuff life gives us,

stuff it in a corner, and walk away as though something never happened
smear it all over us, and it becomes our identity, and carry forward
break it apart, try to analyze and understand every detail before becoming completely lost in a moment
shove it in our backpacks, and take the next step just a little heavier.

Whatever it may be, whether I take life in or let life through, I write.
Its my way of looking at moments, my way of connecting emotions with logic, my way of dumping all my emotions while stepping by and looking at my life in hopes of a more objective understanding.

Why Sevilla Awakened?

First: September 2011-December 2011, I received the biggest blessing in the world of living out a dream. Every other moment was a thought, “is this real? Is this seriously happening in my life?” Life was too amazing for words.

Second: At some point in Sevilla, who I was on the outside (my actions, my words, my decisions, my appearance) finally, finally matched the person I would like to be on the inside. In my head there were always dreams and wishes of who I would like to be, and normally there is always a slight clash between the jennytang in her mental dream world, and the jennytang that compromises due to her inner complexes, or outward pressures. At that moment of unity, I made a vow to never turn back.  This blog will be a constant reminder of how much I have to lose.

Far far, there’s this little girl
She was praying for something to happen to her
Everyday she writes words and more words 
Just to speak out the thoughts that keep floating inside
And she’s strong when the dreams come cos’ they
Take her, cover her, they are all over
The reality looks far now, but don’t go

How can you stay outside?
There’s a beautiful mess inside
How can you stay outside?
There’s a beautiful mess inside

I guess I have to, have to give it birth…

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