This is a journal entry I wrote at around 2am at my last day before move-outs. Ahem… Excuse the cheesiness and broken sentences. I miss ya’ll. Sometimes I wish I can go back, but I know you are all still here and a phone call or walk away. ❤
Over a year ago, I walked into this room broken, in pain, withing nothing to lose, and what got me up in the morning was the thought that “welp, no amount of failure can possible hurt as much as that.”
Look at us now, 5 couchsurfers, 21/19 units, a boyfriend, bean bags, postcards, and a chibi-me all have come and gone.
I learned to not take myself too seriously. I learned that emotions are fickle.
More importantly, I learned that believing that I can matters more than actually knowing that I can.
What’s even more powerful is that for the first time in my life I felt Validated.
I was taught that I was loved, that I am loved, and oh, how sweet and scary that taste can be.
thank you, for the wine, roof, food, and infinity massages. The heart-to-heart talks and teaching me the only way I can be alone is by diving in the side of my head that’s called logic.
For teaching me that conversations can make the best books,
that the intimate outsider’s perspective can be the most valuable compass in life.
That I have a net, and all i need to do is have the faith to fall. to TRUST. that the net genuinely wants to be there and care about me.
for teaching me how to unclog sinks, mix grout, to fix shelves, and fix myself.
To love this house despite the cracks and history– to love myself despite the complexes and baggage.
and understand that some parts are meant to be fixed, while others are meant to be accepted.
I have been the most blessed person in the world.
Thank you, Hoytians. May the growth and love continue.
Always and forever, your handywoman.