I like to think of cycles, I think they have their beauty, they have their starts and finishes that continue on.
They put the word “closure” into context, they allow one to recognize the end of a cycle, to take that end and begin something new. To not leave any open frazzles disconnected from the rest of your life. To be able recognize that section in life for what it is, and work with it to make something new.
All of freshman year was a struggle, beginning of sophomore year was a period of growth.
End of sophomore year was a collection of hurt and frustration, leading to the best 6 months of my life.
“Theres beauty in the breakdown” as tumblr loves to say.
I think the beauty comes from finally being humble enough to allow the world flow through you, the pain to hit where it needs to hit, break what it needs to break, and prepare yourself for further growth.
To give your life some holes, to allow better things to fill them, or allow something inside yourself to grow out of them that you never thought you had.
and one more thing: my falls made me realize I have a net under me called my friends. I felt their support for the first time- I would have never trusted them as much if I didn’t have all these weak moments.
and If the breakdowns are windows for me to see how wonderful my friends are, the regrowth is an opportunity for me to make new ones. Pearce Edwards- if you’re reading this you know what I’m taking about. To pull someone up along with me as I start to see life in a brighter light. To use my momentum to give others a push.
And this is how I grow, I guess. And this is why you entered my life. Now go- your new friends are waiting for you.
And to my own friends: I love you all. Thank you for being here to support me.
(In case you’ve ever forgotten. You swore that this time your feelings are different, more mature and rooted deeper. With that I am thoroughly impressed how effortlessly truth can shrivel to lies.)