And I’m back – but maybe leaving.

7 months later.

It feels good to be writing again – to have a mind grounded enough to think consistent thoughts. You’ll see me on here more, and man, what a seven months this has been. Sometimes, I’ve looked back in slight wonder – this, all this that happened, was my life? Damn.

All I can say is that the mud is settling, but I may be looking for new waters.

More to come, soon.




A game of give and take

They say that sometimes, life gives you so many lessons that you can’t possibly process them all. None of what you write, read, or think about makes total sense. So recently I’ve taken a break- I found that while normally I enjoy my re-reading blog posts and journal musings, for the past few months whenever I go back and re-read, I cringe.

I find my thoughts incomplete, out of context, inconsistent, or over-dramatized. So I’ve been taking a break from writing down my thoughts- and stepping back to watch what exactly is happening with my brain. Slowly I’m gathering myself and finding some consistency, but until then, I’m having a great time being unpredictable and letting my jumbles of new emotions and ideas romp and fornicate.

Let’s see what happens, eh?

p.s. Goal for 2014: Be a light person.
pp.s. Goal 2 for 2014: Not cut my hair for 3 months and then shave part of my head.


If I stop posting on facebook, will you forget about me?

If I stop posting on social media, will you forget about me? 
…And our friendship, based on newsfeeds instead on memories? 

  • I first got a Facebook account to talk to friends who were “over” Myspace.
  • then, I was going on Facebook to see what other people were doing,
  • then, I posted on Facebook tell other people what I’m doing.
  • recently, I needed Facebook just to validate what I’m doing.

It saddens me that increasingly more people prioritize “socializing” whenever they do something cool- as if their own memories are not enough to make an experience real. Perhaps this moment won’t “count” if other people don’t know about it. Sometimes I too feel this: if I don’t frequently share pretty pictures or witty statuses, the world will move on and forget I exist. What’s even worse is, sometimes if I don’t get enough  “likes”, the experience itself may not be remembered as something memorable.

More than depending on social media for personal validation, I’m scared that some of my friends are using only social media to keep track of friends, and becoming dependent on newsfeed to provide them “important” updates. I’ll refrain from getting into the whole ‘false sense of relationship’ point here, but I just wanted to ask a simple question:  how often do you think about people who don’t appear in your newsfeed?

If I stop posting, will half the world forget about me?
More importantly, will you forget about me?


I think, I’m returning to emailing my friends who live far away. Not only is it the difference between feeling noted versus being cared for, direct & personal communication is the only way I keep my friendships real.

So to my friends: I don’t ever want to feel like I’m being a better friend than what I actually am by merely keeping track of your Instagram photos. Don’t be insulted if I stop “liking” your shares, because there might be an email sent soon.


The 2013 Finisher list of movies! (Kickoff movie 11/21-22)

Final list!  kickoff day: Thursday/Friday! (11/21 or 11/22nd!)

  1. Beasts of the Southern Wild
  2. The Interrupters
  3. Oceans (Crystal wanna watch together?)
  4. Firefly Serenity
  5. Taxi to the Dark Side
  6. Ai WeiWei- Never Sorry
  7. Midnight in Paris / Great Gatsby
  8. Product Details180 South (founding story of North Face and Patagonia)
  9. High Fidelity 
  10. Jiro Dreams of Sushi
  11. Sound City 
  12. last Train home
  13. the creators
  14. (runners up) man on wire
  15. (runners up) the house I live in 
  16. Product Details(runners up)
  17. (if I can find the movie) a place called robertson
  18. (If movie available) The Anonymous people

Mind-Expansion month!



So for all those who want to explore, learn, and see new things but are too busy and broke to do so; I want to do the next best thing to stretch my mind to new places: Movies!

(shows allowed too)

These coming weeks, I want to watch the most mind-blowing movies/documentaries out there to get some fresh ideas in my mind. I’ll be making a calendar and posting, so any night you want to have a cuddle/food/movie night- please, join me. 🙂

With much more to come, soo far my list goes:

1. Oceans-  a gift given to me back in 2011 but I never fully watched all of them
2. Firefly Serenity- include all the shows that lead up to the movie.
3. The interrupters- about a group who decided to treat violence as a disease and “interrupt” it at its source.
4. Man on Wire- a dude who tight-roped across one of the deepest trenches with no net.
5. Beasts of the Southern Wild 🙂
6. Taxi to the dark side- From the producer of Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room and Who Killed the Electric Car?- All the messes of the US government, from TSA to Guantanamo Bay.
7. The Square- Egyptian revolution. Enough said, because honestly, I don’t have a clue.
8. Ai WeiWei: Never sorry: Because I’m super ambivalent about this iconic artist badass.
9. Brave- never seen it but sounds like my life.
10. Midnight in Paris. Because I have an infatuation with stories.
11. Something from This list More like 3.
12. Fandango. About a bunch of college grads who have no clue what’s life about and growing up.

(Great Gatsby. Because pretty <3)

Add more! So far I’ve chosen only ones I have not seen, but definitely down to watch some more than once. Like The Motorcycle Diaries, for example.

A blessed unrest


There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.


Martha Graham